We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
