If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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