My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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