who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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