this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
