I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
