this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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