Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
