On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
