walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
