I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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