i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
