i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
