so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
we made out on top of his cat.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
