it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
