A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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