what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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