Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
