I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
