drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
