come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
