grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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