He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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