Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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