she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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