its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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