yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
