She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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