I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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