dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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