Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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