is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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