If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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