I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
