ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
