I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
