come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need water and some morals
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize