he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
