I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
operation harelip BJ is a go
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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