we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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