Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
