sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
