marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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