North Korea, Best Korea!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize