I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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