and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
