come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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