I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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