mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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