that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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