At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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