Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
