I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
