it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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