Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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