at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize