why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
