no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
