Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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