Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
