I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
