At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
