I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
